


Lost & Found

by citizenjess (givehimonemore)



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Jedi Quest Series - Jude Watson
Genre: Abandonment, Gen, Schoolyard Fighting, Zora - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-21
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-05 23:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/729235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givehimonemore/pseuds/citizenjess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years later, and Ferus doesn't understand why he can't let his emotions surrounding the mysterious circumstances of his old Master's disappearance go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost & Found

**Author's Note:**

> This was written circa-2006, mainly to try and explain (or at least, work around) how Siri would have trained Ferus at thirteen (per flashback snippets from "Last of the Jedi #3") when she's off on a three year mission from what I calculate as Ferus being 12-15 (since she says that he's about two years Anakin's senior, and Anakin is thirteen when he and Obi-Wan meet up with space pirate Siri-Zora in the Jedi Quest: Special Edition). But it was also written simply because of my deep and abiding appreciation for baby Padawan!Ferus (and Anakin), so there you go.

Ferus is only eleven when Master Siri Tachi chooses him to be her Padawan, one of the youngest in his age group. It doesn't surprise or flatter him; on the contrary, he simply accepts it, the way his Jedi training has taught him to. Jedi lessons come easily to him, easier than most, and he is not sure why rather, he recognizes and adapts the Order's teachings as his own philosophies, because they seem right to him, and also since he has known little else. Sometimes he wonders if it would be different if he had, but he meditates on it like a Jedi should, and releases such counterproductive thoughts into the Force.

In a way, he feels much older than his fellow students at the Temple, unable to understand their constant attempts to rebel, and unwilling to do the same just to be like them. None of the students are mean to him exactly, just quietly perturbed, as if Ferus is an ideal that they know they can't live up to, and feel resentful towards just out of principle. Sometimes, it makes Ferus lonely; but Master Siri never judges him outright the way his fellow students do (though it takes him a few meditation sessions to learn to take her critical looks in stride).

And then one day, Master Siri is gone, simply leaves, and he's never quite sure why. He's twelve at that point, apprenticed long enough to have developed a rapport with his teacher, and the abandonment stings whether it's intentional or otherwise. It's not something she discusses with him, and the Council is no more or less forthcoming than any of the rumors he's heard. They call him in at dawn one morning, and solemnly explain that Siri has left the Order. Her old Master, Adi Gallia is there, her face carefully and passively schooled.

Ferus is shocked. "She just left?" he asks numbly. The unspoken, what's going to happen to me is left hanging in the air. A lesser Padawan would have probably cried, but Ferus notes to himself that he's receiving the news with great maturity.

It's Master Yoda who finally explains why Master Gallia is there. "During this transitional period," he murmurs in a soft, slightly rasping tone, "Adi Gallia's apprentice, you will be. Learn much from her, you will."

Master Gallia nods at Ferus, and he inclines his head towards her a bit. It is, he decides, a relief that the Council is bothering to try to uphold his Padawan status at all, that he doesn't automatically get bumped back down to an Initiate. He has actually only spoken to Master Gallia a few times, so he knows the arrangement is more convenience than because anybody's volunteered to take him on - if the Master is unavailable, summon the Grandmaster, and such.

It's a very rational decision, Ferus tells himself, so he follows Adi Gallia out of the room after graciously thanking the Council, and makes a mental note to meditate on his anxieties over feeling abandoned until, he hopes, he no longer feels them at all.

*

He senses Anakin Skywalker in the Force before he even sees him; rumor has it that Anakin has a higher midichlorian count than Yoda, and his seemingly boundless energy swirls around everything it comes in contact with, bold and mischievous.

The grin on Anakin's face is sarcastic, biting, and Ferus groans inwardly. He and Anakin have never gotten along; he thinks, perhaps, Anakin feels that Ferus is trying to one-up him, is his 'competition' of sorts at the Temple - never mind that Ferus has nearly two years on him, and has had the benefit of spending pretty much his entire life as a Jedi. And though he tries to release his frustrations about this into the Force, he can never quite shake them.

"So I just heard, Olin." Anakin's eyes glitter, his arms crossed over his chest triumphantly. "Master Siri just left the Order." He continues to grin, and Ferus physically fights the urge to clench his hands into fists. "What'd you do, Ferus? Bore her to death?"

Ferus sighs to himself. Even the most esteemed Jedi apprentice wouldn't be able to release all of his emotions concerning Anakin Skywalker into the Force. "I'm glad my situation amuses you," he says, waving his hand dismissively. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late meeting with Master Gallia."

But Anakin is remiss to give up any situation where he has the perceived upper hand, and this is certainly one of them. "So the Council stuck you with Gallia, huh?" He smirks. "I guess they felt they ought to show a little bit of sympathy to someone in such a pathetic situation as yours."

Ferus just glares at him wearily. "I guess you would know," he tosses off, not realizing the full effect of his words until Anakin's face begins to purple with anger. "Otherwise, they would have shipped you back to Tatooine after Master Qui-Gon died, I suppose. Good thing Master Obi-Wan was around for the Council to saddle with you."

The younger boy is fairly shaking with rage at this point. "You take that back," he whispers, eyes flashing furiously.

But Ferus is annoyed at this point by Anakin's gall. "I don't very much feel like it," he says airily. He nudges Anakin with his shoulder, simply to get him to move, but the other boy shoves him back with much more force. "If you don't mind, I'll be going now," Ferus mutters, but Anakin continues to block his path.

"I do mind," Anakin snarls in mimicry of Ferus' tone of voice. Again, Ferus makes to step around him, and again, Anakin shoves him back into the same spot. "What's the matter, Olin?" he taunts. "Afraid to fight me?"

Ferus manages to keep his voice calm in spite of the tense situation, which he's certain only serves to piss Anakin off even more. "I don't want to waste the time it would take to fight you, Skywalker," he says haughtily. "But it's certainly not because I'm afraid to knock you down a few pegs."

"Cocky, aren't you?" Anakin retorts. Their voices carry enough to have drawn a small crowd at this point. It makes Ferus even more uncomfortable, but Anakin seems somewhat drunk on the energy that emanates from his audience. He spreads his arms, beckoning to the older boy. "Take the first shot," he offers smugly. "That's the only one you'll get in, after all."

Ferus has had enough of this entire conversation. "I have a better idea," he remarks. "Why don't you go find a bantha hole somewhere and jump in? I'm sure nobody will miss you, let alone notice. Especially not Master Kenobi."

That does it, apparently. "Why you -" Anakin snarls; he hisses something that sounds scathing and Huttese, and then charges at Ferus, fists flying. Instinct kicks in and Ferus defends himself from the other boy's attacks, landing a few of his own.

The crowd buzzes and stirs excitedly. "Fight! Fight!" somebody shouts. Ferus idly figures that it will only be a few moments until somebody informs a Master of what's going on, but Anakin does not seem to care about consequences one way or the other. He lands a blow on Ferus' jaw, hard, the impact making him taste his own blood. Ferus retaliates by tugging on Anakin's Padawan braid, not quite as long as his own but certainly on its way, yanking it and snapping Anakin's head back and forth a few times.

He feels a blow successfully land against his stomach and quickly assesses the situation in a split-second, the way he was taught: his mouth is bleeding, and there are bruises in three or four places on his upper body. Anakin's tunic is ripped at the shoulder, and there's a tiny scratch above his right eye. "Let's stop this," he tells the other boy, who is panting at least as hard as he is. "It's hardly productive, Anakin."

But the other boy is stubborn. "Afraid to admit that I was right?" he gasps out. He makes to attack again, hands straying to his practice saber, neither of them having real ones at this point to use. Ferus' digits instinctively curl around the handle of his own weapon. Fighting with fellow students out in the halls like this is expressly frowned upon, but if Anakin isn't going to back down, then neither can he, he decides.

Fortunately, at last, their quarrel is interrupted by the arrival of a Master, who sends a gentle yet firm Force suggestion in their direction. Both boys topple over, and Ferus looks up to see Anakin flushing in embarrassment. "Break it up," the Master says, and then indicates for them to follow her.

*

"Stick in the swamp," Anakin mutters a little later; both boys had been brought to the Council chambers - Ferus had been utterly humiliated to learn that Master Windu had been the one who sanctioned it and sternly reprimanded on the merits of expending their energy in more productive ways. As such, both had been given kitchen duty for a week, and were forced to shake hands with one another, which, Ferus allows himself a small snicker about, noting how much more difficult that particular part had been for Anakin.

Now they sat outside the Council room, waiting for their Masters or in Ferus' case, his Grandmaster to come collect them. Anakin appears restless and bored, and Ferus sighs at the younger boy's frequent, not-so-subtle attempts to provoke him still. It won't do to get into fisticuffs again a mere hour later after they've been pulled off one another, he rationalizes. So he concentrates on the schoolwork he still needs to complete in the upcoming evening, and not on his aching jaw or the fact that Anakin is scowling at him again.

It's Master Kenobi who arrives first, looking only somewhat harried, as a credit to his well-practiced calm. His eyes flit from Anakin to Ferus and then back, and Ferus is somewhat surprised that even Anakin has the grace to look abashed.

The older man sighs in slight exasperation. "I suppose, more than anything, I should be relieved that the results of your little altercation did not require more than a few bacta strips," he finally says. Neither boy responds, and Obi-Wan turns to Ferus. "I am very sorry to hear about Master Siri leaving the order, Padawan Olin, he continues kindly. "Though I am sure you will be in wonderful hands with Master Gallia. I have worked with her myself; her skills as a Jedi are quite renouned."

Ferus blinks, wishing he did not feel the tightness in the back of his throat that foretold the onslaught of tears. He swallowed, hard, and nodded quickly, eyes on his own boots. "Thank you, Master Kenobi," he murmurs quickly.

Anakin is staring moodily at his own feet, seemingly awaiting chastisement. Obi-Wan beckons to him with a slight nod and his apprentice jumps up out of his seat, visibly happy to be getting away from this room. Ferus watches Obi-Wan stoop a little to observe the scratch on Anakin's face, noting how the younger boy seems to preen and even lean into his Master's touch somewhat, possibly for Ferus' benefit.

"It's minor," Obi-Wan murmurs, almost to himself, and then straightens. "We will talk about this later, Padawan," he tells Anakin, who nods and starts out of the room.

"Take care of yourself, Ferus," the older man tells him. Then he is gone, and after Anakin takes a moment to throw a smug grin over his shoulder, he is, too, and Ferus is alone. Abandoned. He works on releasing those feelings into the Force until Master Gallia arrives nearly fifteen minutes later, chastising him and hardly glancing at his injuries at all.

*

Three years pass. Ferus and Master Gallia grow moderately closer. The renouned Master's brusque manner is obviously something that had rubbed off on Siri for as little as Ferus knew her, which makes his adaptation to her teaching methods much easier than he originally suspects. At fifteen, Ferus is often recognized by peers and teachers alike for his intelligence. He's the Padawan other Padawans seek out for help on their schoolwork, the apprentice that Masters look upon as a shining example of what their own apprentices should aim for.

In short, not a lot has changed. Though internally, Ferus still thinks about Siri often, wonders where she is. He hears things, of course; Padawan Veld and his own Master return from a short mission with stories of threats from space pirates, one of whom may or may not bear a striking resemblance to his old Master, and the mission Ferus overhears Anakin bragging about seems to be an investigation to confirm that.

He finds it odd when he suddenly can't seem to get Siri out of his head. 'It's been three years,' he chastises himself. 'Adi Gallia has been your Master longer than Siri was. Gallia IS your Master, now. She's not coming back. She abandoned you,' he tells himself flatly, when nothing else seems to do the trick. 'Let it go, already.'

He's so busy moping on just this subject in the cafeteria one afternoon that he doesn't see Tru Veld standing near his table for several moments. "Mind if I sit down?" Tru queries, a friendly smile on his face. "Or would you rather brood in peace?"

Ferus blinks. "Tru! Sorry, I was distracted. Go ahead." Tru plunks down in the seat opposite him and happily digs into his lunch. "Cake?" he offers, gesturing to one of the three dessert pieces on his lunch tray. Tru absolutely loves cake.

Ferus shakes his head. "No, but thank you."

"Well, you know," Tru says with an easy smile, "more for me, then." He takes another bite of his main course and swallows before attempting to pull Ferus out of his funk again. "You seem more serious than usual, Ferus," he comments probingly. "Anything wrong?"

Ferus shrugs. "Just a reaction to potentially unpleasant rumors, I suppose," he replies simply. "I'm sorry if it's made me even less desirable to be around, Tru."

Tru waves his hand lightly. "No more so than usual," he teases, then takes another bite. "Besides," he continues, "if it were rumors about my ex-Master, I would be -" he trails off, eyes widening as he seems to arrive at the conclusion that what he starts to say is horribly insensitive. "I-I mean oh Ferus, I'm sorry." Tru's hand is clasped over his mouth now. "I didn't mean - Anakin was saying that there was a rumor that Siri had - I'm really sorry, Ferus." Tru looks truly miserable now.

Ferus smiles reassuringly at the other boy. "It's nothing I haven't heard myself," he shrugs. He avoids commenting on how much less tactful Anakin would have been, knowing that Tru is perhaps Anakin's best friend.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, and when Tru offers Ferus some of his cake again, Ferus accepts.

*

Ferus is meditating in the Room of a Thousand Fountains when it happens. There's a familiar energy signature that swirls around him, stronger than it's been in more than three standard years. Ferus gasps a little and doubles over, surprised by its nearness.

And then, she's just there all of the sudden, hair slicked back and longer than he remembers, and clothing certainly wilder than the standard issue clothing of the Jedi Order, but it's Siri, nonetheless.

As usual, her nonchalance catches him off-guard slightly. "How've you been, kiddo?" she says, flashing him a toothy smile. The tunics she wears are fashioned from some kind of animal pelt, and she quirks an eyebrow as she recognizes his distaste.

"My mission was to infiltrate the inner circle of a notorious space pirate who'd been running a number of illegal slaving centers," she says by way of explanation. "The whole robe-and-lightsaber schtick just didn't quite jive."

"I imagine not," Ferus replies, unable to keep himself from returning Siri's small smile. He feels the rapport they'd begun to develop return, three years dormant, and realizes with new clarity that his affection for Siri never left him completely, nor would he have truly wanted it to.

The doors to Ferus' favorite room open once more, and a rather harried looking Obi-Wan Kenobi peers inside, an equally dirty Anakin craning his neck to watch the reunion of sorts himself. "Siri, the Council wishes to meet with us for a debriefing," Obi-Wan explains, and then smiles in what is nearly a smirk. "I don't suppose you've managed to forget how Master Windu hates to be kept waiting."

Siri waves dismissively at him. "Not anymore than he's forgotten how little I care about his anal-retentive demands for punctuality," she returns. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes good-naturedly and leaves, tugging Anakin along with him, who still eyes Ferus curiously. Siri turns back to him; her tone is light, but there's a hint of emotion hidden deep within.

"So now that I'm not Zora anymore," she says, hinting at something Ferus is sure will make for a very interesting story, "am I going to have to duel with Master Gallia to get my Padawan back?"

Ferus finds himself unable to stop grinning. "I think," he says, "she'll be pleased to relinquish the task to you once again." Siri - his Master, he thinks happily - nods and then motions for him to follow. He falls into step alongside her, and is surprised at how normal this is, how right.

Everything in this moment, he decides, allowing himself to feel its satisfaction, is as it should be.


End file.
